Why Do Exes Come Back Whenever You’re Closer to A Breakthrough?
If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.
The baby was four months old when I had a call from Noah. He said, “Saying I’m sorry wouldn’t be enough, I know, but for now that’s all I can say. Believe me, I’m sorry.” I asked, “Noah, how may I help you?” He said, “At least accept my apology first.” I said, “There’s nothing to accept. Just go ahead with the reason why you called me.” He said, “I’ve been a troubled man since the incident. Even when I pray, I feel like it hits the ceiling and drops back on my head. I did the silliest thing in the world. I’ve regretted my actions. That’s why I’m talking to you now.”
I asked, “Noah, you haven’t said anything. What do you really want?” He said, “I’m ready to do the right thing. I want to be the father of the child and I’m putting things together so we can get married as soon as possible.” I asked, “Who’s pushing you? Why have you appeared out of nowhere seeking to do all these?” He said, “I’ve told you already. I haven’t been at peace since then. I need to make things right so I can maintain a good relationship with God. I’ve already spoken to your father. He’s ready to forgive and welcome me into the family.”
That was the part that got me infuriated. I said, “I’m the one you hurt. I’m the one whose future you put into jeopardy so why talk to my father first? He’s ready to welcome you into the family? Great. Go ahead and be part of my family but count me out.” I dropped the line. He called again and again. When I picked, he said, “Being together would please God that’s why I’m doing all that. Forgive and let’s do this.”
Days later, my father called. He said, “I’ve spoken to your aunt. It’s time to come home. Noah is ready to perform all the rites for you two to get married as soon as possible.” I told my dad, “Marriage doesn’t seal the crack that boy put into my life and I’m surprised you’re urging him on. Fine, I have a child with him. Nothing can change that but it doesn’t mean I should get married to him by all means. I’m not ready for marriage and I’m not going to be pushed into it.”
I think my father was shocked by the way I spoke to him. When you go through problems as I went through, you grow up. You stop giving unnecessary respect to people who shunned you. You stop bowing to idols who only care about their name and reputation but give zero care to your concern. I wasn’t ready to soft talk to anyone. He said, “Just come home and let’s talk about it.”
Days later, I said goodbye to my aunt. I told her, “You’re the real mom and I will always be indebted to you.” She smiled and said, “I’ll always be there for you.”
Back home, my parents pushed me day in and day out to forgive Noah and accept his marriage proposal. Looking through their submissions, it felt like they were protecting their reputation than protecting my interest. My dad wanted to be at peace with the church. They won’t accuse him of having a wayward daughter who gave birth out of wedlock if only he will ensure her daughter got married. He wasn’t doing it for me. He was doing it for himself. I kept repeating, “Noah is the father of my child but can’t be my husband. If he abandoned me at my lowest, he can abandon me again. This is a guy who told me to get rid of something he himself had put within me. Why are you not angry about the sin he nearly made me commit?”
One morning, Noah came with his father to meet with me and my parents. When the discussion was going on, I saw my aunt’s calling me on the phone. I didn’t pick. I didn’t want to be a distraction. She kept calling. I kept ignoring it. Noah and his dad kept convincing me to change my mind about the marriage. They said, “That’s God’s will. It wouldn’t please God to see you apart when you could have been together raising the child in his name. Coming from the same church helps the whole issue.”
The pressure was getting intense. I told them, “I need time to think about it. It’s hard but I will pray about it and see what God will say.” Noah chipped, “God will say the same thing that we are saying here.”
Immediately they left, I called my aunt. She said, “I’ve been calling you saaa what were you doing?” I told her what the issue was. She said, “Anyway, that your friend was here when I was calling you.” I asked, “Which friend?” She said, “The guy with the black car who proposed to you when you were pregnant.” I screamed, “Really? So, where is he?” She said, “You were not picking the call so he took your number and left.” I said, “Again?” She assured me, “Don’t worry he’ll call you. That evening, he called my line, “When he said hello, I said, “You never called. What happened?” He said, “Hmmm, I was traveling that day when I met you. When I took your number, I didn’t save it right away. It was on my keypad until I dialed another number and lost your number. It really pained me but there was nothing I could do.”
We had a long chat, talking about the day we met and everything that happened in between. In the end, I said, “I lied to you that day.” He said, “I know. Your aunt told me when I was with her.” I sighed. He sighed. He asked, “So the guy hasn’t come around since you gave birth?” I said, “He was here just this afternoon with his family. They want me to accept to marry him.” He asked, “And you’ve accepted.” I said, “I told them I’m thinking about it but I don’t think I will make the same mistake twice.” He said, “I will have been surprised if you accepted him.”
He said, “Anyway, I brought some baby stuff to you. When your aunt said you were gone, I couldn’t leave it with her. Now tell me how to get them to you.” I said, “Bring it. Come and see me again. Would you?” He said, “Why not? If I’ve been able to carry it all the way from the US to this place, bringing it to you shouldn’t be a problem at all.”
One afternoon, I stood by the roadside and welcomed him into town. When I sat in his car he said, “You thought you were running away, here we are.” He touched my cheeks and said, “You don’t look like a nursing mother.” I said, “It’s God’s doing that we don’t look like what we’ve been through.”
My mom saw me bringing boxes inside and asked, “What are these boxes for?” I told her, “There are more outside, help me bring them in.” She went outside, saw my friend, greeted him, and picked one of the boxes inside. She asked me, “Who is he and why is he here with many boxes?” I told her, “I’ll explain later.” I introduced my mom to him. My mom asked a lot of questions and he answered her politely. She said, “Can you wait and meet her father? He’ll be glad to see you.” At 6pm, Dad was still not in so he asked permission and left.
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Two weeks later, he came back to town. He met my father. My father asked, “So what’s your story and why the interest in my daughter?” He said, “I saw her only once and I liked her. We are friends now. Nothing serious.” My dad said, “Thanks for all the help you’re throwing her way. We see it and we appreciate it.”
Since that meeting, my dad never mentioned Noah again. Anytime they called him he told them to call me instead. He told them, “She’s not a child. I can’t force him to want what she doesn’t want so maybe we should respect her wishes.” Noah calls every day, using the baby as an excuse to tell me to loosen up for marriage but my mind is on something else.
Since I met him the second time, there has never been a moment gone by that we don’t talk. He proposed one day and I said, “I have a little baby. He’ll grow soon so let’s use these moments to know each other. When the time is right, we can do whatever we want.”
For now, nothing is official. We are friends who have dreams for a better tomorrow. When my child got one year, he came home with a lot of gifts. I’ve been to his place on several occasions. I like that he’s not pushing me into anything. We are both taking our time. The future looks good already.