Is That A Reason Enough To Walk Away || We started our relationship six months ago, and I had no hope we could get here, even this fast? She looked like she wasn’t in the mood for our relationship. She talked about trust issues and all the relationships that didn’t go well though they promised a lot. She told me, “You guys make trusting very hard for me. Today you’re all out and loving. In just a blink of an eye then everything changes. You don’t know whose intentions are pure and whose intentions are shallow.” I told her, “Forget about everything you’ve been through. Let’s start afresh and see how we can build from scratch.
Slowly she warmed up to the idea of dating me. She didn’t say it outright that she had accepted my proposal. She kept giving hints until at some point I asked her, “Is that a yes to my proposal? She said, “If that’s what you want to hear, then yes.” I asked, “That’s what I want to hear but is that what you want to say?” She said, “Yes. It’s a yes. Let’s give it a try and see.
For the past six months, everything has been amazing between us. Looking at her reluctance at first, I thought she was going to hold back and let me pursue her but no. From the blown of the whistle to this point, she had been the one who keeps giving and giving, allowing little space for me to give back. Honestly, it’s good to have a woman who loves you like that. It keeps you at ease and it keeps your heart undisturbed knowing there’s someone who will love you truly at the end of the day.
She Love Talking About Her Past Relationships… Is That A Reason Enough To Walk Away?
But at some point, her weakness came shining through her cracks. Rose comes with thorns. If you love the rose, you might as well accept its thorns so I decided to ignore but the more I kept ignoring it, the more the issue became pronounced. What’s the issue…?
She loves talking about her past relationships and she loves bringing them into our everyday conversations. We could even be talking about the bible and she would find a way to put one of her exes in the chapters of Mathew or James. It was something I found very hard to ignore but because of love and because I didn’t want to do or say anything to offset the balance of the relationship, I allowed her to keep going. I thought at some point she will stop but she didn’t.
We were buying a shirt from a store one day. I wanted blue because it was the first color that caught my attention. She said, “No, the black is nicer.” I said, “But the blue caught my attention first.” She said, “Ignore the blue. It’s not worth it.” She picked the black color and we both walked to the counter to make payment. While we were both in line waiting to make payment, she said, “Blue is Desmond’s favorite color. I can’t stand to see you looking like him.”
Another time we were out eating when an old friend of mine walked to our table. I haven’t seen him in ages so we were hugging and making noise. When we went quiet, I introduced her to my friend. They both shook hands and she smiled. When my friend left, she said, “You won’t believe what I’m going to say but that your friend looks like Kojo, the first guy I dated at the university.”
In my head, I was like, “When is this girl going to stop talking about the ghost of people she once dated. I decided to bring it up to her attention one day. I said, “Babe, maybe you haven’t realized it yet but you bring the stories of your past relationship into our conversations a lot. It’s kind of feels weird but I want to believe you’re not conscious about it. Maybe you should do something about it.”
She laughed as though I’d said the funniest thing in the world. She then said, “Honestly I didn’t know but does that make you jealous?” I said, “No not at all. It just doesn’t sit right with me, hearing new names every day. It’s not cool.” She said, “I’m sorry if that hurt you unknowingly. I won’t repeat it.”
The next one was even worse. One day we were talking and out of nowhere she started ranting; “I once dated a guy bi err, he was a sɛx maniac. He could be on top for hours, just doing different things to drive me crazy. He was very abusive. Each time I tried to walk away, he will come for me and do these things to me all over again. Then I will forget about the reason we were fighting and be with him again.” She laughed afterward. It wasn’t funny to me but she kept laughing. I said, “You promised you won’t bring your exes into our conversations again. What happened?”
She cupped her mouth in her palm and said, “oops, I forgot. This one slipped. Please forgive me.” Then she came back again, “But if we can’t talk about our past, how would we grow out of it? These are some of the mistakes I made in my past relationships. I talk about them to let you know I’m grateful to have met a better person like you. You don’t have to feel bad about it?” I said, “I don’t feel bad about it. It only tells me a story of you that I don’t want to learn. It looks like you’ve been with too many men and no man wants that. Just shush it.”
She got angry, accusing me of calling her a pro when I didn’t mean that. It took me days to bring her back to normal—to bring her to a point where we could be how we used to be.
Then she started using it as a tool to get me jealous. When there is something I’m not able to do for her, she’ll say, “I can speak to Josh and he’ll help me out. If you don’t mind, can I talk to him?” That also brought huge friction between us. I tell her not to say this and she’ll turn it and say something different that meant the same thing. For the past six months that we’ve been dating, that has been her only drawback and it looks like I’m fighting a losing battle trying to correct her.
Now the perception I have about her is changing. She was the golden girl in my eyes but all those stories she keeps spinning about her exes make me think that she’s not golden after all. There had been so many names mentioned and if all these names shared a bed with her, then you can imagine what I’m dealing with her. Is That A Reason Enough to Walk Away?
I want to stand on this reason and walk out of the relationship because honestly if she even changes along the line and stopped talking about her exes, it would be very hard for me to forget about all the stories she had shared about them. And these stories are the reason why I see her in a different light.
Is that a reason enough to walk away? or I should keep searching? The problem is, the love I have for her now is diminishing. She said a lot she had no business telling me and that has been the needle that tipped the scale.